Sunday, February 22, 2015

"Sir, Aaj Kya Maaru?" & Other Crazy things you'll hear in Indian Gyms

Yup.. I have some pretty crazzy stuff that I've heard over the years in Indian Gyms. Here are some interesting stories. Now I'm gonna use a lot of Hinglish (Hindi+English) in this post , else the post will not be effective enough.. Yenjoy!

To Begin with , Indian Gym Trainers & Guys in the gym have a peculiar way of Motivating others to Push through the Set & the last few Reps.. You must know these .. These are the basics of Surviving in an Indian Gym.

The first few are just Single words that play a big role in your workouts:
  1. Kheech!!  (Pull) : This one Tops the Charts, when it comes to motivational screaming.. Now Imagine somebody screaming "Kheech" the way Sunny Deol would in his action movies.. Yes.. That's the way people motivate each other in the gym in the middle of a set.. Kheech!!.. Come-on... Kheech!! Kheeeeeeeeeeeeeeechhh!!
  2. LAU-LEE ( Lovely!) This is Lovely, with a peculiar accent. Typically used at the end of a good lift or end of a good set .. One.. Two.. three... Nine.. Last, Ten... Drop the weights & scream.. LAU-LEEEEEEE!!!!
  3. Yus (Yes) : Yus is nothing but Yes.. this is simple , Yes , only with a peculiar accent .. Yus .. (Rhyming with Mango Pulp or "Aaam Rus".. Yus.. Rus. Usage is simply while counting the Reps : One... Yus... Two.. Yuss.. Three Yusss and it goes on..
  4. Dabaa (Press) : What the??!! Where did this come from?? Dabaa!! ... and apparently the right usage of this is,  along with a couple of Kheeches .. you put in a train of Dabaas..
    Something like... One.. Kheech! Two.. Daba Daba Dabaa..Three!

    Now here's how all this falls together:
    YUS...Three... Kheech!!..
    Yus .. Four..
    Yus Yuss...Five  
    Come-on.. Daba Daba Six
    Daba Daba Seven Dabaaaaaaa.. Eight Kheech!! Nine Yus!! LAst one Come-onnnnn Ten!!*Set Ends*

Now that you know the Basics, let's get into some complex Stuff :) 
  1. Beer Peeke Body Banaaneka!! : Yup.. You'll be surprized at how many people actually believe this. I've seen guys making a plan to go out immediately post workout and diligently gulp down Mugs of Beers back to back in the hopes of gaining Muscle and getting Bigger. This belief may be stemming from the fact that Beer infact has a lot of Carbs packed in it & since you're tired after a heavy workout, a chilled Beer Relaxes you and also Relaxes you :)
  2. Person 1 :  Woh Shaam ko aataay.. Uska Body Dekha Kya??
    Person2 : Abbey Tochha liya hai..Tochha!!  (Tocha = Injection = Steroids)

    People refuse to acknowledge that somebody can actually put in the hard-work that goes into building an aesthetically pleasing physique and work even harder at maintaining it. I have seen a lot of people who day after day, month after month put in the time energy & efforts required to build a great Body .. and Yes, with the right Training , Nutrition & Rest it is't impossible .. and they haven't consumed Beer or taken any Tochas! So, all you jealous guys out there, ut in the effort & you'll see fantastic results too.
  3. Capsule Khaake Body Banaya hai : Capsule here is Steroids.. This is a variation of the Tocha phrase
  4. Andheri.. Vile Parle.. Santacruz.. Khar... Bandra : Believe it or not, this was one Trainer's way of making his client do Push-Ups & count them.. (instead of 1,2,3) and then at Dadar he screams.. Chalo Churchgate tak jaaneka hai!! Hats off Boss.. Funny, but very innovative !
  5. Gym Stop nai karneka , nai to Sab Muscle Fat mein Badal jaataay: Now this is crazy, as Fat and Muscle are two chemically different compounds / objects with two very different roles and functions in the body and they are not inter convertible.. Here's more on this Subject in a different post of mine: What Happens when you stop going to the Gym ( )
  6.  Sir, Aaj Kya Maaru ? Don't overthink ! This is a family Blog. This question actually means, "Which body part should i workout today... Answer may be Chest Maar.. Back Maar.. Legs Maar etc.
  7. At times the Instructor may ask you.." Arrey Bohot time baad aaya.. Kya Maarega aaj , Bol?" Madness na??
  8. Sir, Pressure nai aaraay!! Again, don't overthink.  This isn't the morning Pressure you are thinking about.. By "Pressure" most people intend to convey the Contraction/ slight discomfort that you feel when you challenge your muscles.
Combine 7 & 8 , and you get to hear hilarious things like "Sir, Theek se Maar Raha Hu.. Lekin Pressure Nai Aaraay!! "

There's a lot more that I have in store.. But I'll stop here for now.. More on this Later.

So, Yup.. the Indian Gym is a full-on source of continuous entertainment.. Who Said , Going to the Gym is Boring??!!

Come- on.. Kheech!!